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Doce me faces voluntarem tuam quia Deus meus es tu

Friday, September 24, 2004
Dear J.Crew,

I think we've had a pretty good relationship for the last six years. I've given you a fair amount of money. In return, you've given me a handful of nice sweaters, shirts and pants to help me develop a halfway respectable wardrobe. This is a good thing, and I especially enjoy receiving your catalog here at my apartment. On the rare occasion that a girl visits, your catalog is a helpful means of proving that I am a modern man, well-versed in the world of fashion and culture.

Herein lies our problem. Today I opened my mailbox to your September catalog. As is often the case, the cover of the magazine featured a pretty girl, probably about my age. Once inside the confines of my apartment, I begin to thumb through the pages of the catalog, only to find that there were no clothes for men. Just page after page of pretty girls in pretty clothes. Normally this wouldn't be so bad. I can take a few minutes to think about how nice it would be to buy that new cable crewneck sweater for a potential girlfriend. But a forty page catalog, with nothing buy girls' clothes? This is too much, my friend. I do not need such a long and well-developed reminder of my single-ness. This is unnecessary. A few pages would be fine, perhaps even equal pages for the women and the men. This new offering is unacceptable, a painful, though fahshionable, reminder that I am still shopping for myself.

I hope in the future you will be more judicious in your decisions about catatlogs, doing your part to keep me, and no doubt countless other men, pacified and in denial about the state of our relationships. Such action on your part would do much to repair the trust that is now broken between us. I remain

Your humble friend and patron,

M.
8:36 PM :: ::
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