Doce me faces voluntarem tuam quia Deus meus es tu

Monday, November 08, 2004
Fall finally decided to show in Tuscaloosa, and so did a sore throat. So now we're blogging with peach tea and Belle & Sebastian. The ballyhoo is all about values and morals and gay marriage and the election is it not? Well, look, there's a huge chunk of people in this country who are not - no ifs, ands or buts - going to vote for a pro-abortion, pro-gay marriage candidate. That's just the truth, and no amount of universal health care is going to change the minds of those voters. You'll find most of them at church on Sunday morning, if you haven't heard. It's called voting beyond your pocketbook. If Democrats come to understand this notion, they might be able to win more elections than the New Olreans Saints win football games.

The rest of the Bush voters? Well, they feel betrayed. Not betrayed by John Kerry or John Edwards. They feel betrayed by Clark W. Griswold. A huge chunk of this country developed an emotional bond with George W. Bush. People saw him after September 11 and thought "this guy really cares." That may seem foolish to you, but you probably have a subscription to the Nation and find Al Franken to be entertaining. No, America fell for the President and it wasn't the work of the ZIONIST NEOCON CONSPIRACY. And when we saw lovable Chevy Chase join in the chorus calling the President a buffoon and a moron, it was over. When those cute little Dixie Chicks went overseas to talk about how awful the President was, it was curtains for Kerry. And Whoopi Goldberg and Pearl Jam? Well, if it were 1994, people might care.

Art doesn't have to be seperate from politics. It's not inherently wrong, but don't try to fool me. Don't come into my living room every December and tell me to have the hap-happiest Christmas since...well, you know...and then try to run off my President. It's disingenuous. And by the way, I love Christmas Vacation and all that, but Chevy, Godard you ain't. Let's not get ahead of ourselves. You too, Whoopi. I sure hope those Slim-Fast ads paid you well; I doubt you'll be getting any work beyond that anytime soon.

The word values is not an evangelical code word for "gay." And the minute some guy with bad hair and an ugly tie tries to make it so, I'm off the team. No, values is more than that. It means that Janet Jackson's chest stays covered up if she's on television. Desperate Housewives may win in the ratings, but that kind of life doesn't win at the PTA meeting. It means that you don't brag about being an altar boy, especially if you're more than a year or two removed from the playground. Red-state culture doesn't brag about church or hunting or fishing or football. It just is. Kerry's life was telegraphed by every working man and woman from Pittsburgh to Pheonix. If the Dixie Chicks and Chevy Chase didn't sway you, then John Kerry, the Goose Hunter and African-American churchgoer, sure did.

9:31 PM :: ::
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