Wednesday, January 26, 2005Middle Class Mom is showing some love regarding my Twixters piece. I particularly liked this segment:
"It takes a while to get acclimated to this, to find the other eligible folks in your environment, form bonds, and determine if any of them are worthy friends, much less spousal material. I wasn't avoiding marriageable men when I got out of school - I just didn't work with any. The DH and I didn't meet until I was 28, started dating about 18 months later (I had already bought my first house), and then married, a month after I turned 31."
This is where I would like to question Dr. Mohler. I have immense respect for the man, but at times he (and others who makes this argument) seems to not deal with the real world. Let's propose I graduate from college at twenty-three. I move away to get my MBA. That means a new environment, new colleagues, new friends, new church, etc. By the time I get fully entrenched, it's time to move again. I graduate with my MBA at twenty-five. I'm pushing twenty-six when I move again, this time to follow a nice job that pays me upwards of six figures. I'm not yet twenty-six years old and making nearly 100K. (I'm imagining here, obviously) I'm in a new city and I don't know anyone. Most of my coworkers are older than me. It takes time to find new friends, new social circles, a new church, etc.
It's not unreasonable that a perseon following such a career trajectory would be pushing thirty by the time they get married. Things would be similar for a student in medical or law school, perhaps even graduate students with scholarly pursuits. And as far as marriage among fellow students, it just ain't happening. Even couples who date while they are fellow students often don't have time for that sort of serious relationship. (Perhaps this explains some aspects of the hooking-up phenomenon?)
"Matt also makes the point that high schools don't adequately challenge students - specifically, students don't get a broad enough education to enable them to say, "hey, THAT's what I want to do", which would help them enter college with more of an idea of what degree plan to pursue."
I think the same would apply to many colleges, though in the reverse. By that I mean that students graduate from high school not knowing that they want do, and they arrive in college where they can do everything, but they are never steered in a strong direction. Many college students have parents who did not attend college, or attended during a time when things were not so...loose. Consequently, students rely on university employees. Oh, sure, there's many a fine professor who can help guide a student, but have you ever been a freshman forced to have your schedule approved by one of those droids in the Dean's office? You know, the ones who simply read off requirements from a book and know nothing about you? I could probably find a few seventh-year seniors over on the Strip tonight who owe their college careers and their poisoned livers to those fine folks.
Again, I concede much in this area to Mohler and others who share his position. Yet there are many, many practical points that they are not addressing. I agree with their worldview, but the question they do not seem to ask is, "How can we apply this worldview in light of the current social, cultural and economic landscape?" Once they ask, they might find the answers are not so simple as they would think.