Saturday, August 13, 2005Ah, Saturday. No work and no worries. My agenda today? Buy a few magazines and go to the thrift store. It's lovely. I woke up hungry and craving coffee, so I drove to Target. I hate that there is no good local place for me to go, but I like bagels and coffee so there we go. Too bad Starbucks' espresso machine is down. The coffee isn't awful, though, and Einstein Brothers makes a mean bagel.
If I were in Birmingham this morning, I would be at this farmer's market buying peaches and a watermelon. I'd buy a fresh baguette and another cup of coffee. Maybe even flowers, but probably not for myself. It's a great market, full of lots of interesting things and people. But, woe, I am in Tuscaloosa. I can busy myself here, buying groceries and maybe even cooking.
I'm still reading a lot, understanding God's power and love and my own humility. What a wonderful dichotomy is our faith, with equal attention given to brokenness and to power and might. Our own brokenness is made correct by God's power and love and mercy. And it's only in light of God's power that I begin to understand my own depravity and broken nature, and thus begin, however slowly, to grasp the awesome love of our Lord. That is such sweet comfort.
How much can I do without? How much of my own comforts and luxuries can I give up, not in some self-righteous sense of ascetecism, but in the awareness of suffering around the world, and learning to do without so that some of what I have can go to help others. This is a recurring question in my own mind, and it's one I just can't seem to shake. I don't believe the answers are the same for everyone; I won't stoop to legalism. Yet I'm increasingly conscious of the fact that I can't live my life as I please - buying and selling at my own leisure - without at least some regard for how it affects other people. Surely Christ has called me to more than that.